You get what you tolerate

Recently, I was reviewing some old Schnizzfest content. About ten years ago, we showed a Tony Robbins video called You Get What You Tolerate. In it, Tony talked about making a conscious decision about the standards we choose to live by.

His point was simple: in both our personal and professional lives, we get what we tolerate.

At first, that can sound harsh. After all, bad things happen. Sometimes extraordinarily bad things happen. Life isn’t always fair, and not every setback is our fault. But over time, our lives become a reflection of what we are willing to accept, excuse, ignore, or allow to continue.

I have spent more than thirty years working with business owners. I’ve coached thousands of leaders and have had a front-row seat to both extraordinary success and painful mediocrity. One thing has become clear to me: The gap between where people are and where they could be is often not talent, intelligence, opportunity, or even effort. It’s what they’re willing to tolerate.

In our peer groups, we track something called a “goose egg”—a quarter with zero new sales. Most business owners tell me that growth is one of their highest priorities. Yet some will go an entire quarter, sometimes two, without landing a single new customer.

When I tell them that many peer members never have a goose egg, they ask, “How is that possible?” My answer is simple. They decided they wouldn’t tolerate it. The sales example is easy to see, but the lesson is much bigger.

Some people tolerate poor health for years while telling themselves they’ll start exercising next month. Some tolerate toxic relationships because confronting the issue feels uncomfortable. Some tolerate average performance from their team because holding people accountable is difficult. Some tolerate financial stress, disorganization, procrastination, self-doubt, or a lack of purpose. Over time, what we tolerate becomes our reality.

Every athlete says they want to be a champion. Every salesperson wants to be the best. Every business owner wants to be in the top 10% of their industry. But wanting something and demanding it from yourself are two very different things. The people who achieve extraordinary results are not always the smartest or the most talented. They simply have a shorter list of things they are willing to tolerate.

They refuse to tolerate excuses.
They refuse to tolerate inconsistency.
They refuse to tolerate habits that move them away from the life they want.
Their standards become their advantage.

The most difficult part of my career as a coach and mentor has been watching good, talented, hardworking people—people I genuinely care about—settle for far less than they deserve. Not because they can’t do more. Because they’ve slowly become comfortable with less.

If this is resonating with you, you probably already know what needs to change. Most of us do. The challenge isn’t awareness. The challenge is deciding that what you’ve been accepting is no longer acceptable.

So ask yourself: What have you been tolerating? And what would happen if, starting today, you decided not to tolerate it anymore?

Related: Taking back control